Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Blind, foolish honesty.

I almost deleted that last post, the morning after writing it.

It was late when I posted it, my head wasn't screwed on quite straight, and I think if it had been, as much as I needed to get those words out of my system, I probably would have elected *not* to post it.

What stopped me from hitting the delete button was this: It was the truth.

I've always kind of walked a fine line at this blog, because honesty in writing means so very much to me. So everything I've printed here has been honest, but I've been careful about not drifting too far into the truth of my own life. Because with a public blog, where you name and face are attached, you sometimes don't want the entire world to know things about you, like, say, when you're in the middle of an emotional and / or spiritual crisis.

But then I thought of two things. First, that I really haven't cared much what others thought of me in a number of years. And second, that I'd already crossed the line by posting it. I had already made it public. I had already shouted it out to the world. It would be a mistake, I think, and an act of weakness to pretend, at that point, that I hadn't meant it. To say, "Whoops, sorry, that wasn't meant for you."

So I'll let it stand.

Which is not to say that I'll often be doing this sort of thing again, mind you.

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