Monday, January 30, 2006

Reconnecting with the Divine

Dear God:

I'm entirely sure why I've been calling you up with an almost scary regularity over the last few weeks. Mostly, I've been fine to struggle through this thing called life on my own, with the faith that you'd just kind of dump whatever wisdom was necessary on me, if I looked for it deeply enough.

And that's always been a big thing for me. Wisdom and understanding. I've long felt for awhile that one of the big reasons that we're all here is to ultimately learn something -- and to hopefully learn something profound. And so, given that there's no way of knowing which things are there to teach us something, and which things are just kind of there, I tend to look for meaning in everything that crosses my path. Because if there isn't someone actively trying to push a lesson down your throat, I don't think there's any harm in learning a lesson anyway.

But things are different right now. I feel like there's some sort of massive message being pushed my way, and I'm desperate to get it, but so far I haven't managed to piecfe it together. I'm not sure if it's because I'm too thick-headed, or because I've spent so much time trying to figure these things out on my own that I wouldn't recognize a divine message if it bit me on the arse, but I definitely feel like I need some guidance and direction right now. I want to know the point of all of this. I want to know what it is that I'm supposed to learn. I want to know what I'm supposed to take away from all this.

As disconnected as I've become from the divine, I'm still of the opinion that you're not the sort of God who gets surprised. You're not one to say, "Oh, hey, wow, I hadn't thought of that," or "Wow, didn't see that one coming!" so none of this should shock you. So, you dumped this stuff (or,depending on how you look at it, allowed this stuff to be dumped) on my lap, knowing exactly how I'd react to it. And while I don't necessarily think that it's always about me, while I'm open to the possibility that the point here is about someone else, I also have complete faith that after many, many millions of years of steering things on this planet towards some unknown ultimate fate, you wouldn't create a situation where only one person is learning something.

So, what am I supposed to get out of this?

What's the lesson?

What am I learning?

Because this is a big one. And I don't want to walk away from this without some kind of lesson.


1 comment:

MistyVine said...

Proverbs 2

1 My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,

3 and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,

4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,

5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.

6 For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

7 He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.

9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

I thought, a fitting answer to your question.