Sunday, January 08, 2006

'It tastes like burning!'

Man, I’ve got a burning desire to write something, but nothing that is actually demanding my attention. I opened up “Pornographer’s Blues” and stared at it for about five minutes, but I was too sleepy for that much of a writing commitment, even though I’ve had the next few pages playing out in my head for the last few weeks, and have no doubt about where this chapter is going.

I also didn’t start a story that’s been on my mind about a couple of people who are trying to burn down a building, only to realize that neither of them has matches or a lighter. And I also didn’t do anything on an old, old story idea that I was somewhat randomly reminded of the other night, but that was mostly because upon further consideration, it’s not really much of a story, just kind of a gimmick with nowhere particularly interesting to go.

After being a fan of the tune “Woke Up This Morning” by A3 (the piece is used as the opening theme to The Sopranos) I finally got my hand on a few the band’s albums, and…well, I’m not sure if indescribable would really do it justice. What does “techno-country-gospel-acid-jazz” make you think of? The phrase kind of makes my head hurt a little bit, but the music is amazing. How come these guys aren’t bigger than they are? And how did I miss out on them for so many years?

I am inclined to agree, though, that their second album – La Peste – is a little weaker than their first – Exile on Coldharbour Lane. Which is not to say that it’s bad, by any stretch of the imagination, but “Exile” just seems to click a little bit better, somehow.

It’s on, I think, the third playthrough of the day. It made me smile like a goofy little kid when I first cued it up, because I just couldn’t believe how weird and wonderful and how right this bizarre combination of sound seemed.

In other news, I found my mind wandering a bit this afternoon, thinking about adolescence and how, sometimes, it seems as if we spend years fighting, clawing and biting, struggling to get away from all the things that we were as teens. And as we change, as we grow, are we really changing and growing – are we really improving? Or are we simply diluting the purity of who we were when we were younger, less jaded, less burned by the world and by the people in it? Every step I’ve taken in my life that has carried me away from the values and beliefs I cherished in my younger days made me feel a little bit more like a sell-out, even as it made me feel a little bit more capable of surviving in the world. But which of those two is more important? Survival, or staying true to yourself?

Of course, as is the norm, there are no answers to questions like this, only the questions themselves, which is fine. Because more often than not, it is the journey, and not the destination, that is the most fun, right? Who cares exactly what the truth turns out to be. It is the question for that truth that will ultimately be the most rewarding thing.

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