Tuesday, January 18, 2005



Mr. McDonald?

Aren't you done with this whole "question and answer" gimmick yet?

Unfortunately for you, it appears that I am not.

Fine. What do you want?

Tough year, huh?

What, 2005?

No, I mean the last 365 days.

Ooooh, that.

With that whole "Supersize Me" movie...

That guy was just hungry for media attention.

You're saying his claims were wrong?

I'm saying he could have made a documentary about a eating nothing but rocks for 30 days and what would have proven? That you shouldn't eat rocks every day for a month.

You should eat rocks in moderation?

Okay, the rock thing is a bad example, but you get my point. You're not supposed to eat a Big Mac every day for a month. You're not supposed to eat a Big Mac every day for the rest of your life, either.

So you think he may have blown things a little out of proportion?

I don't want to talk about him or his stupid movie anymore.

And now a former McDonald's CEO has died of colon.

A tragedy, surely.

With just a hint of irony, don't you think?

I'm not sure I follow you.

Well, diets high in fat are believed to predispose people to colon cancer.

Uh-huh.

And McDonald's food, as a general rule, tends to be...

I would advise you not to go any further with that question or that implication or whatever else you might want to call it. You, sir, are bordering on defamatory speech.

I was simply pointing out something I thought was an interesting irony, or coincidence, or...

I have our lawyers on speed dial.

You'd do that, wouldn't you?

In a hearbeat.

I thought that Ronald McDonald in any language meant, "Fun."

Yeah, well, around here it means "Shut your mouth or I'll sue your ass off."

I'm just gonna go now. Thanks for your time.

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