Hello, World of Warcraft.

Hello Todd, you sexy, sexy bitch.

Oh, now, hey...come on. Why do you have to go and say things like that?

Because I love you, baby. I want you. I need you. And I know you need me to.

Look, I know we've had kind of a serious thing going on here lately, but I think maybe it's time we started seeing other people, you know?

Who are you kidding. You know you want me, need me, can't live without me.

It just seems like you've maybe become a bit too big an influence in my life. And I'm beginning to think you're using me.

Moi? Whatever might I be using you for?

Well, money, I guess, more than anything else. I mean, you're not exactly cheap.

And I'm not easy either, baby, but I'm worth it. Worth every penny. Because I love you long time, I love you like-

Okay, stop with the sexual innuendo. That's getting creepy. You're a video game for God's sake.

I'm not just a video game and you know it.

That's what concerns me. You're more like crack cocaine.

But a beautiful, sexy, well-designed, and-oh-so-fun to be around kind of crack cocaine. And if you were pregnant while you played me, your baby probably wouldn't come out all malformed.

Probably?

Well, I mean, I don't know what you're doing when you're not with me.

What are you implying?

Nothing, baby, nothing. I know it's only the best for you -- I know that's why you're with me. And you should know that's why I'm with you too. Because I only have eyes for you.

And the other 60,000 people who are currently playing the game.

They don't do it for me like you do.

Oh, you are such a liar.

You don't believe me? C'mon...come visit me tonight. I'll help you get your Warlock to level 25.

I don't know...

I know you want to.

Sure, I mean, of course I do, but...

It's the right thing to do, baby. You know it in your heart. We were meant for each other. Now love me -- love me all night!

This is the creepiest conversation I've ever had.

You know you want it. Level 25...

Okay, you win. I'll see you in a few.

Don't keep me waiting, lover-boy.