Sunday, October 01, 2006

RIP, hot mustard

I don't believe I spend any more or less than time than average thinking about food on any given day (though I've met people who do), so it seems strange to me that some of my fondest childhood memories are memories in which food play a central role.

For example:

I remember one morning, as a child, after spending the night at a friend's place, going for breakfast at a local diner with the friend and his dad. Now, his dad was a bit more willing to indulge the psychotic whims of children than my own folks had been, and so, on this particular morning, he allowed me to fulfill one of my greatest childhood wishes -- having a cheeseburger for breakfast.

Cheeseburgers, for whatever reason, had reached an almost mythical status in my young head, and were the greatest treat that could be bestowed upon you for a meal. I had spent months, perhaps even years trying to convince my parents to let me eat a cheeseburger when we were out for breakfast, but they refused, time and time again.

So of course, I was expecting absolute bliss from dining on a cheeseburger at 10:00 a.m. Instead, I just got sort of nautious.

Another memory:

Our family didn't eat at McDonald's with any sort of regularity, and so when we did go, it was something to celebrate. You wanted to make an event out of it. Not long after the initial launch of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets, they became my meal of choice when visiting McDonald's. And of course, as my meal of choice, there was the Holy Grail of Chicken McNuggets.

The 20-piece meal.

Much like the breakfast cheeseburger, all my requests for a 20-piece meal were refuesed by my parents for what felt like years (though it was probably only a handful of months -- childhood memory is funny that way) before they finally got tired of hearing my complaints and relented.

And what should have been a glorious moment of joy became, much like the breakfast cheeseburger incident, a moment of overconsumption and nausea.

The moral of the story: When parents say, "No," it isn't always because they're mean. Sometimes it's because they don't want you to throw up all over yourself, and them, and the nice people at the table next to you. Which isn't to say that I did, but I could have. You never know with food related things.

Which brings me, in a very offhand way, to the real point of this post.

McDonald's Hot Mustard sauce, for their Chicken McNuggets, is, apparently, no more.

According to the woman who took my order yesterday, McDonald's took a survey and discovered that more people preferred the Honey  Mustard to the Hot Mustard, so the Hot Mustard was removed as an option.

And to those people who took that survey, and who inspired McDonald's to remove the Hot Mustard sauce from their menu, I want to say simply this: I hate you all.

Hot Mustard is all I've ever had on my McDonald's Chicken McNuggets, all I've ever wanted to have on my Chicken McNuggets. Now, in my adulthood, it has less to do with the taste -- though I still enjoyed that the last time I was lucky enough to have the hot mustard sauce -- and more to do with nostalgia. With reconnecting with the simpler times of your childhood.

And you people, you stupid Honey Mustard people, have destroyed all that.

Today we mourn the passing of Hot Mustard from the McDonald's menu, and while we hold no grudges against this newer, less nostalgic "Honey Mustard" -- for it is innocent of any food related crime, and is simply the unlikely replacement for a fondly remembered product -- we acknowledge that McDonald's will never be the same. And that I will likely never eat their Chicken McNuggets again.

Goodbye, dear, Hot Mustard. You will be missed.

37 comments:

elise_on_life said...

Well, you probly wouldn't want the Chicken McNuggats anyways. I've heard that they've become cardboard-like in texture, and their taste has dissipated into the grease before they ever hit your mouth. This wasn't my personal opinion, but that of a former McNuggat-lover.

Sheryl-Lynn said...

Erm... Sorry about that, Todd. But I truly do like the honey mustard better. Tara prefers straight honey. Try it as an option. You might like it. Or get a salad. Or a... cheeseburger.

Todd said...

You disgusting honey-mustard lovers can get your vile honey-mustard at just about any other restaurant that serves nugget-like chicken. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO STEAL MY ONE SAUCE!? WHY!?
WHYYYYYYYYY

Anonymous said...

I miss hot mustard too :(

The other sauces are crap.

Since I rarely eat at McDonalds, I make hot mustardish stuff myself by mixing honey, mustard and hot sauce.

Phill said...

perhaps the producer also sells it at retail. or is it some original mcdonalds product?

Anonymous said...

I just found this out two weeks ago and I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

I make my own hot mustard by eating a bowl of Plochman's, a little honey & some Pete's hot sauce. Then I shit in a bowl and mix it with a little Burger King Onion Ring Sauce. Yummy!!

Anonymous said...

McDonald's so-called Honey
Mustard Sauce contains so little
honey, it has been condemned by
beekeepers on their Wall Of Shame

High Fructose Corn Syrup... yeech.

Anonymous said...

Who the hell eats at McDonald's anymore anyway?

Anonymous said...

Agree on why the hell anybody eats there, but also that the hot mustard was the only decent condiment (other than plain mustard) for a mcnugget. All the rest were far too sweet (like most of the menu) and now they've made it complete. Fast Food Nation was right on with the HFCS conspiracy.

Anonymous said...

Hot mustard, available at the supermarket in a jar. Has a long shelf life even in your car. And, useful during traffic stops, random sexual encounters or any combination of the above.

Anonymous said...

Oy. Goodbye, Hot Mustard. While I rarely frequent McDonalds, I do remember my days in High School, being coralled by the rest of the lunch heard to head out there. My favorite thing to do was this:
Get a cheeseburger, add hot mustard sauce all over it, and then layer french fries on top of the burger. Mmm mmm mmm...that made it one tasty burger and covered up much of the toxic flavor.

If they still have Hot Mustard here in the U.S., you should try it!

Anonymous said...

BBQ FTW!

Brett said...

I work at McDonalds, and Hot mustard has been gone since the summertime of 2006. Oddly enough, when we had it, everyone asked for Honey mustard sauce. Now that we have Honey mustard sauce, everyone is asking for Hot mustard!!!

The best sauce was the Hot sauce though.

Anonymous said...

Death to the Honey Mustard fascists! The day they take Hot Mustard from us here in the US is the day I stop going to McDonalds. I use it on nearly everything I buy there. I use it on my Cheeseburger, on the fries, on everything short of the Desserts, or something with Mayo on it already.

I'm with Todd. I LOVE Hot Mustard.

Anonymous said...

I used to have it on my Sausage McMuffins… and no longer go there as a result. RIP Hot Mustard.

Anonymous said...

I have to say, I was way more upset about the death of the `Special Sub Sauce' (Italian dressing) at Subway. My calls to head office, however, went unnoticed and despite the string of complaints that my bored co-workers and I left on the voice mail, special sub sauce went the way of the `U cut' at Subway. Damn it I hate change!

Wally Stumplifter said...

fuck mcdonalds, fuck them up their stupid mc'asses... im going to mcdonalds right fucking now and im ordering 20 fucking mcnuggets and when they ask me what kind of sauce i want i will say hot fucking mustard and if they say, "sorry sir, we dont have hot mustard sauce, is honey mustard sauce ok," i will yell profanities through the little drive-through window until the minimum wage obese teen starts crying and then i will cancel my order. I encourage all hot mustard lovers to use your rage productively and make your voice heard! rise up and be heard, hot mustard is the fucking bomb!~!!

Anonymous said...

I think the only thing at McDonalds that I approve of is their chicken caesar sandwiches, but I respect that the hot mustard will be missed by many. I also respect the Williams Lake McDonalds. That place is legendary~

Being from 100 Mile, I have a vendetta against many things from Williams Lake (school rivalries, you see), but the McDonalds up beside the highway will never be included in that :D

Todd said...

I was not aware of the legendary status of this McDonald's. Might I ask what inspired it?

Captain Spadge said...

I think that every sports team from the interior of BC has stories that take place at that McDonalds. There isn't so much a particular legend about the place as there is a sense that there isn't anyone who hasn't been there at least once on the way through WL.

theTVaddict said...

I haven't had McDonalds in over four months... really, I miss Hot Mustard so much! It's quite sad actually. I wonder if we can smuggle in boxes from the US?

Todd said...

I'm thinking we maybe need some sort of Web 2.0 social network, in which people looking for Hot Mustard can communicate with people who have access to and are willing to distribute Hot Mustard. MustardSpace.com or something.

Anonymous said...

I'm so ensensed by this that I've been looking for a place (on and off) since the summer to vent my hot mustard frustrations on. Why would they get us addicted to the stuff after years and years of eating it and then suddenly take it away. I wish I had known so I could have stockpiled the stuff. I mean there's no way it would ever go bad.

The only thing I ate at McDonald's was the McNuggets and I needed Hot Mustard to complete the ritual. Since they took it away I've tried ever other sauce and all of them are garbage. I even demanded they give me straight mustard - alas it was no use. There needs to be a petition to sign!

Anonymous said...

Had McNuggets for supper Thursday. They had hot Mustard. I even had one extra left over which I dipped an eggroll in Friday nite.
There is just so much potential for this mustard. Yet, try as I have, I can not find a single mustard on the walmart shelves (or any other super market) that can compare.

BTW, I tried the new honey mustard. What are those little chunks supposed to be? :P

Anonymous said...

It's just a big mistake. All Hot Mustard lovers here's the McD site-http://www.mcdonalds.com/app_controller.custsat.custsat_form_food.html go and bitch at them until they bring back our love.

Wally Stumplifter said...

That last link was for US residents, and the Canadian site has no email form so here, mail them hate mail on used cheeseburger wrappers but send me the melted cheese that sticks to them i love that stuff... mmm melty.

Thank you for your interest in McDonald's Restaurants of Canada Ltd. For general inquiries, please call the McDonald's main switchboard at:

Toronto: (416) 443-1000
Vancouver: (604) 294-2181
Montreal: (514) 685-4411


To contact a regional Customer Relations Representative during business hours, please call :

Toronto: (416) 446-3932
Vancouver: (604) 293-4834
Montreal: (514) 421-4881


Or write to us at:

McDonald's Restaurants of Canada Limited
McDonald's Place
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
M3C 3L4
Fax: (416) 446-3443

SHLINGHAM!

David said...

I dont know how I found this blog, but it hit home, I felt the SAME WAY one balmy afternoon as I was refused my order of hot mustard. ACTUALLY it was even WORSE, they just didnt say anything and gave me the flthy honey mustard. Disgusted I went back in to have them explain the bad news.....

ANYWAYS my point (strange as it is) is. My parents relocated to Hong Kong after all us kids moved out, so I get to go visit them once or twice a year, and lo and behold THEY STILL SERVE HOT MUSTARD THERE!!!!

I was ecstatic to find this out, and promptly ordered 200 sauces, which rewarded me with the most stunned mcdonalds employee face I had ever seen.


Anyways I got my mustard, I get strange looks from the customs officials each time I come back to Canada and have my stuff searched and I have to explain the whole thing.


Now I remember how I found your blog, I ran out of mustards and I was seeing if there was somewhere online I could order them XD cheers!!!

Mike said...

Lets revolt...its just not McDonalds anymore without HOT MUSTARD! Might as well go to any other slider joint now.

Jeff said...

I too, was most pissed when they discontinued with the hot mustard. I figured someone must have posted the recipe. I've found probably 20 or more recipes and they are all pretty much the same. Here it is enjoy!

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons French's prepared mustard
2 tablespoons Heinz 57 sauce
1/4 cup Mayonnaise
1/4 cup Sour cream.

Anonymous said...

Um, No RIP?

Hot Mustard is still alive.

Anonymous said...

i smuggled my 'stash' from egypt - but it's all gone now.
boo-hoo-hoo

mc D sucks without hot mustard

Frank said...

FUCK ME I JUST CAME BACK FROM FRANCE...THE MUSTARD THE GIVE THERE WITH THE MCNUGGETS ARE FUCKIN KILLER!! I NEED THAT DIJON MUSTARD HERE IN CANADA!! FUCK U MCDONALDS

Chris said...

My wife has a stash of hot mustard in our fridge. she's willing to part with them for $100 a piece.

Derethrian said...

1/2 Cup Water
1/2 Cup Corn Syrup
1/3 Cup Plus 1 Tablespoon White Vinegar
2 Tablespoon Ground Dried Mustard
4 Tablespoon Cornstarch
1 Tablespoon Granulated Sugar
1 Tablespoon Vegetable Oil
1/2 Teaspoon Turmeric
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
10-14 Drops Habanero Hot Sauce

1. Combine all ingredients in a small unconvered saucepan. Whisk until smooth
2. Turn heat to medium and bring mixture to a boil, stirring often.
3. Sauce should thicken in a covered container.

charlesborner said...

Every other fricking place on the planet has the stupid, sickly-sweet honey mustard. People who want that crap should go there! Pick yourself up a couple packets.
Now, I pretty much have no reason to ever order Chicken McNuggets again. 30-ish years of McDonalds patronage and they've basically stopped me from ordering one of my regular McDonalds staples.

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